A mind-numbing fear of failure mixed with a deafening need for perfectionism means I often start projects that, despite the best of intentions, I never actually get around to finishing.
I am my own worst nightmare.
I love the creative projects I start. I nurture them, I coddle them, I feed my self into them...
Until I feel I have learned a lesson or have successfully demonstrated a new skill...
Then, I stop.
I loathe this about myself and am ever frustrated that this trait not only exists but that there seems to be no rhyme or reason to where the limit/tipping point is!
I once challenged myself to learn to knit a sock.
I knit a sock.
A. Single. Sock. And then I stopped.
Why?! Because that was the challenge I had set myself. Learn to knit a sock.
Finally, over a year later, I had to challenge myself to see if I could knit a *pair* of socks, just so I didn't feel so horrid that I'd learned a skill it seemed I was never going to use. (I still have the socks and while I love them, I don't wear them as often as I should.)
Perhaps another personality trait/flaw is that I am just too damned literal. Perhaps I need to be less precise, more open-ended in my language. Perhaps, I need to realise I am so literal and work *with* it and expand my challenges before they are set rather than accidentally allowing them to limit me.
No, seriously, who knows?! Do you!? I'd love an answer.
In any event, the above parts of who I am have accumulated to mean that I haven't written in, I'm embarrassed to say, over five months.
I'm actually cringing as I write this, I feel that ashamed.
Note to self:
"Writer"?! Not if you don't effing *write*, lady!
You "lost" someone very special the other day. The Goblin King. A man you've never met but one you'd hoped one day would cross your path.
That opportunity will now never come to pass and you mourn the loss of something you never had, but also the loss of the magic he helped bring into your life.
You're clever, though, and know that the magic doesn't have to leave just because the man has had to go. You can...
CREATE THE MAGIC
Write. Read. Make. Knit. Crochet. CREATE!
Now, consider this the proverbial kick in the backside and DO something about it other than just lamenting the fact that you haven't done it!
And, just to remind you...