Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Why not just... write?!

This is a difficult question for me.

I have a story in my head (OK, more than one) that I need to get out but I battle daily, even *hourly* with ensuring I find a balance between losing myself in those wondrous worlds and being firmly rooted in my daily reality. Laundry, dishes, even eating take a backseat when I'm writing sometimes and because I know this, I often neglect the *writing* in an effort to keep myself real on a day to day basis.

I also avoid writing to keep The Wookie happy. He's an accountant/former engineer and his brain doesn't assimilate creativity as easily as mine does. His brain doesn't appreciate the *need* to create when the muse has visited and so I refrain from expressing the voices in my head... It's *his* reality, too, and I'm ever mindful that he's the only one currently employed and paying all the bills...

This, by proxy, means I don't even write blog posts these days. Quite sad, really, but as I was settling down to sleep last night, my brain was winding down and shared the thought "Why not just... write?!"

And I had all sorts of excuses ready; laundry, The Wookie, finding a job, a still untidy office... The list of excuses is virtually endless! But my brain insisted.

"Why not?! Why not *really*? What's the real reason why I don't write?"

And I think I found the answer: Fear of failure.

At the moment, I have a great start to a story. 40K or so words that have had nothing but positive, unbiased feedback.

But if I keep writing and the story flops? The muse leaves me? I over-edit or under-edit or *gasp* don't edit at all?!

What if it was all just beginner's luck?!

And I realised it's time to give myself the same kind of advice I've given countless others: Just *try* it. Worst case scenario? No one's going to die.

Well, no one *real* anyway... who knows what will happen to my characters?!

But the advice is sound. No one will die if I write. No one will perish if I follow my heart and my head... All I wish to do is develop this little fantasy world I've fallen in love with and adore discovering as I go...

So, I will write. I will write my story as and when I can. I will write blog posts (probably random ones like this one). I will write lists, plans, memos, letters... Anything I can think of, even the smallest, most insignificant things, but...

I will write.